A long-lasting happy marriage takes more than just understanding the needs of your spouse; it goes beyond mere acceptance of your spouse’s emotional and physiological makeup and learning to meet his or her needs.
After years of counselling married couples, American clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor Willard F. Harley, Jr concluded that the top five needs of men and women fell into 10 categories:
Your top 5 needs
1 Affection Women often associate affection with security, comfort, protection and approval. When a man shows his wife affection, he’s sending subliminal messages to her that he’ll take care of her, stand by her and protect her.
2 Conversations When women have intimate conversations with their spouse, it reassures them and make them feel loved and supported.
3 Honesty and openness A women needs to be able to trust her husband completely. When a man doesn’t maintain an honest, open communication with his wife, he undermines her trust.
4 Financial support Many women marry for the financial security their spouse provides.
5 Family commitment A woman needs her husband to be a good father and to be committed to the family.
His top 5 needs
1 Sexual fulfilment Most women can go without sex for months, but for men, it’s pure torture. In fact, they would probably do it all the time if they had their way.
2 Recreational companionship Even after marriage, couples should make an effort to involve themselves in their spouses’ activities.
3 An attractive spouse A man needs a wife who looks good to him.
4 Domestic support Most men like having domestic chores like cooking and cleaning done for them.
5 Admiration Men want their wives to be proud of them. So when you tell your husband that he’s wonderful, it motivates him to achieve more.
Diva - The top 5 needs of men and women